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Is It School Picture Time Already??

It sure feels like it!!  I'm not sure of the reasoning behind it, but at work they have this wall where they have 8x10 professional framed pictures of all the pharmacists.  And because I'm fairly new, it's my turn to have my picture taken and put up on the wall!  Well, it was very strange.  I left work, went home, got all dolled up, went to the photography studio, had a bunch of photos taken, chose the one I liked best, and then headed back to work.  And here's how it turned out:
Don't I just look all professional and fancy?  The strangest part was there were two extra 5x7s that they gave to me.  What am I going to do with them?  (And why do they order them if they're not going to use them?)  I guess give them to my mom, like I did in 7th grade.  :)  


The Ten Rules

So, my ADORABLE Dad just sent me this e.mail.  (He said, "this is the way it should be.  #9 is my favorite."  He is so funny!!)

Ten Rules For Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're not picking anything up here.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below the neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to insure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate... When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you to expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is, "Early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt that you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it's okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
•Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.
•Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns with eyesight.
•Places where there is darkness.
•Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. 
•Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.
•Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay.
•Hockey games are okay.
•Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. 
......That camouflage-painted face at the front window is mine.

P.S. The word 'rule' looks really weird after you see it a bunch of times...